Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
