i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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