Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
