yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
love makes seman taste better
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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