i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
