I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
