I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
