As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
