How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
