Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
