is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
