We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
