How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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