Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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