After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
