how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
