my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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