So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
