Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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