i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
