Dual....:-)
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
