Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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