hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
