Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
