i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
