ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
