"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
