And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
