I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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