Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
