I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
