your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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