from now on my penis is your penis
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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