No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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