Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we made out on top of his cat.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
this will be a night to untag.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Randomize
