i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
