I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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