You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
