Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My first STD was from a foam party
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
