It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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