I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
