Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
