super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
