some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
