Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
