I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
