Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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