Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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