When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
