Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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